Exactly a week ago, I turned my laptop computer on and typed to watch music videos. My attention was caught by a video window of a guy on his back, cupping in his hands the face of an attractive brunette girl with blue eyes- video title: Fifty Shades of Grey Official Trailer. Curiosity kills the cat and I clicked play. Wow! I immediately fell in love with the slow version of Crazy in Love by Beyonce.

I remembered downloading an e-book of the Fifty Shades Trilogy last year and totally forgot about it. The youtube clip rekindled my interest and before I knew it, I was already tapping my fingers book after book, page after page on my tablet; just can’t put it down. I was reading during lunch breaks and coffee breaks at work, while riding in a public transport to and from work and before going to sleep.

Oh! The mercurial Mr. Grey… I have been reading fictional love novels since when- of damsels in distress and knights in shining armor- but never have I encountered one that was actually like Mr. Grey. Knowing where I’m coming from, the first novel brought me to a whole new world of sexual encounters where, for the longest time, I was an alien with. I don’t want to sound patronizing but, really, I was in awed to the nth level and the weird thing is..I actually liked it.

The book was a trance and took me to places and opened my eyes that human sexuality can be limited and limitless all at the same time; our capability and incapability to distinguish between right and wrong and how our life experiences can greatly affect how we handle that aspect of our being. What happened to Mr. Grey is real and is happening. I can only hope that the real stuff happens to consenting adults only. I am not a human psychology expert, but I am commenting as a rational human being capable of reason.

The handsome bachelor Christian Grey was a reality of human and animal instinct rolled into one in terms of human sexuality in action. His tendency to enslave a woman sexually and feels gratified as he inflicts pain are not good things to begin with, but his asking for permission before it happens is considerable. I find it funny to hear someone kidded around and said that Christian Grey is the epitome of a man that every girl would agree to have him sexually enslave her considering his really, really good looks and economic status despite his crazy antics. haha (thoughts on Britney Spears’ “I’m a slave for you) It’s as if that someone feels the same way how Ana Steele feels, the hope that her true love can move mountains for any Christian Grey. 😉 I think what draws every woman’s attention to this kind of man is a woman’s idea of reciprocation; the deep-seated longing to fill the blanks to the idea of – ” I need someone who needs me”.

It’s bothersome, though, to think that someone like Mr.Grey exists, but I don’t judge, really. I have always believed that there’s always more to each one of us than meets the eye and that every human being is born good and perfect. The only thing that defines each one of us is the circumstances that we have to live with every single day.

The bright, defiant Anastasia Steele character was admirable. I oh so love defiance; her character is so liberating. Ana Steele’s character might sound undignified, stepped down at, harassed, reduced, and abused, but I saw the other side of it; she was a strong woman who can see beyond the book’s cover and can turn anything in a snap, even the mighty, troubled Grey. She has her own decision and she sticks to it. Christian Grey is one very difficult subject, but her effect on him can never be underestimated. She can make and break him at the same time. Instead of Grey controlling her, I saw it was Ana who was controlling Grey all along; he was under her spell. His love for Ana is stronger than his tendencies. Her strength came from her nurturing nature to Grey’s predicament and from knowing how to heal his wounds. Her strongest point is her capability to love unconditionally- a bull’s eye to Grey’s weakness. It is then always true that women is the downfall of men (haha).

The e-mails were my favorite parts. I just love the humorous exchange of cliff-hanging, read-between-the-lines subjects, chats and signatures of both Steele and Grey in mails; it was refreshing to read. I sometimes catch myself giggling (haha).

Later on, Grey and Steele transformed into more defined characters; they already know what they want but just can’t get hold of it yet. The big question of commitment behind their heads are hanging on a thread. They wanted more out of the relationship but each one was weighing, calculating, bluffing. They found it difficult to jump to that unknown called “commitment”. The jumping might be easy, but the thought of not knowing whether someone is there to catch at the bottom or none is the extreme torture.

I just love how Grey makes it sound so easy to do everything for a loved one. He’s like a promise of a beautiful sunrise after a stormy night. Any woman would die for that kind of man (blinking). Oh well, it’s just me. 😉

Ana, on the other hand, does the right things in the right places or maybe she was just lucky. Her naivety and innocence just makes up the complete package. Her personality can push Christian’s wounded soul to his limit but that makes him love her all the more. What can say, opposites do attract.

The ending summed up the journey of Christian and Ana. It was the happy ever after that I have been wanting to happen. Christian loosened up and made amends with his past by looking forward to a future with Ana. It is so heartwarming to think that an unconditional love can heal wounds and bring a person anew. In order to move on, what’s in the past should be laid to rest and do what needs to be done rightfully at the present.

Notwithstanding the myriad erotic scenes in the book, I don’t doubt that the book can also be badly criticized and badly reviewed based on its story line. But please answer why all the hype? And the turning it into a movie? Maybe the book sales? Whatever it is, I’m happy that it was considered. I just hope that the movie makers will not fail me as a reader. I am expecting a quite wholesome movie because, after all, it is a love story.

The whole time I was reading the books, I can’t help but relate the song Colourblind by Darius Campbell to their story. I always took Christian and Ana to have caught each other unguarded for love. Christian, to Ana’s wit and defiance and Ana, to Christian’s extremely dark lonely past despite his being on top of the world. They ran before they learned how to walk, so they always tripped over.

Again, this is just me and my thoughts. Looking forward to watch Fifty Shades on a Valentine’s Day.


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