MY GREATEST FEAR AS A MOTHER

mommyandnice

 

It was 10 o’clock in the evening and I just got home from work. My daughter’s nanny met me at the front door of our home with a sad look. My heart skipped and asked her what’s wrong. She told me my baby Faith has a fever. I immediately went to my daughter who was resting inside a cradle made from a mattress hanging in our living room. My daughter’s eyes were teary; she looked at me with those sad eyes that could me apart. If only I can make her sickness go away or trade places with her. I would really do everything for my daughter.

My greatest fear stemmed from the experiences of my own mother when she almost lost me when I was still a baby. When my daughter gets sick even from mild cough and cold, I always make an appointment with her pediatrician; I am such a hypochindriac when it comes to my daughter and I can’t help it. From the moment I gave birth, I completed all available immunizations for her. And as soon as she became aware of the pain inflicted upon her by the injections, she became latrophobic. Her fear made it difficult for me to make her understand that doctors mean no harm. So every time we meet with her doctor, it was always a struggle; she cries a lot. All she can remember were the needles. I admit, I am partly to blame. But I know she will thank me later.

As a working mother, I experienced receiving calls from home telling me that my daughter is sick. I would immediately ask permission from my boss to skip work and attend to my sick daughter. I really hate receiving those kinds of bad news; gives me anxiety attacks during her early years, but as time goes, I learned to compose. I learned to realize that childhood will never be complete for every children around the world if they don’t get sick. It is a reality that parents should learn to be strong for their children. If the parent breaks, where would their children run to for strength?

My personal experiences allowed me to understand the strength of being a parent, more so being a mother. I became resilient during these trying times, I fought hard not to cry in front of my daughter. She is my sweet first born and I am pressured not to ย jeopardize being a mother for the first time.

Motherhood can be the most fulfilling role on earth, but can also be the most challenging. It is a God-given privilege that can make or break a woman, but I prefer to be the former. ย When my daughter grows up one day and become a mother herself, I want to leave her the legacy of resilience in everything she does for her family; the strength that is drawn from Faith in God.

 

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5 thoughts on “MY GREATEST FEAR AS A MOTHER

  1. youngatfifty says:

    Don’t worry, she will grow up fine ๐Ÿ™‚ I can very well relate to this, as I quit my job just to be with my daughter 18 years ago !!! ‘Very foolish’ said everyone who knew me, but this is one decision only I understand why I took.

    • wildflower says:

      We are the same on that, I truly understand you too, because I am thinking the same thing, but I have second thoughts. As of the moment, my husband and I thought it is not yet convenient for our family if I quit my job, but it’s on my list. Motherhood really changed me, but it is a very good change. motherhood can make us value our children more than ourselves.

      Thank you for the inspiration. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • youngatfifty says:

        Oh no ! I am a bad influence ๐Ÿ™‚ Please don’t quit your job. Things are not the same these days. I could afford to quit my job, because my husband was earning a lot and my job was only to uphold my financial dignity !! Life these days is very difficult without enough money.

        But yes, I cant agree with you more when you say, motherhood can make us value our children more than ourselves. But I am beginning to think, there is also an equal number of women to whom their job and career takes precedence over children.

        To me, answering my conscience was more important and I was able to do that only because, I dint have to worry about paying bills.

      • wildflower says:

        haha, don’t worry..I was inspired by how much you love your daughter, not the quitting of your job. ๐Ÿ™‚ Me and my husband always, always talk about alot of things before we decide, and as I said, it is not yet convenient for us to quit my job. I feel that I am a better mother when I have a job and can help provide the necessities of my daughter ๐Ÿ™‚ So, please don’t worry. You have influenced me in a good way ๐Ÿ™‚

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