THE SILENT TREATMENT

Couples across all ages will never have a healthy relationship until they argue or fight. Experience tells me that having petty to big fights make couples learn from each other more; the sweet nothings were really nothing compared to what can be learned from being at one’s worst during a fight. It is during these hurdles that they can realize how to make self-adjustments to make the relationship work or not at all.

During these trying times of testing love by fire, I found that a silent treatment is always the best remedy for any quarrels; it is more deafening than the shouts and more painful than actually hitting one another physically. A cold war that can go on for days and weeks or longer can badly hurt; it can tear a heart and shatter a soul. It can blow a mind for trying to decipher which one of the thousand words is meant by the silence.

When a couple quarrels, surely the one with the most reasons to get mad will feel self-pity and will start to nag; will shout like a blow of a bomb. The accused, more likely, will never humble his self and will never ask for forgiveness; will hear the shouts like being hit a bomb. They will just hurt each other more and might just say things not supposed to be said. But when one of them succumbs to silence – never acknowledging anything, the other can go on guessing forever – that is when it really, really hurts.

“Just say something, please!

“Punch me all you want, break me if need be…Just please talk to me!”

“With your silence, you are killing me……..!” 

Are these phrases familiar? That’s how silent treatment works; it has the makings of a deadly weapon.

But it being deadly as I said it was, I can still say that it has more positive effects than negative. Quarrels can be very exhausting; physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. Being silent at these times will be the most profound way of settling issues; breathing in and breathing out and not saying anything clears the mind. It lets one think and weighs things. Solutions to problems are clearer in silence.

Silence is also an indication of maturity and a strong character under pressure; setting aside the urge to nag and rant and shout in frustration. It gives the impression that one is willing to listen. It paves the way to miss and long for a loved one; a realization that can only be brought by not communicating.

In silence, words are clearer and more pronounced; the language of the heart can be heard. Hence, there is the greater chance of understanding and reconciliation.

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