I am not a single mom per se. It’s just that, my husband is working abroad. Ever since our daughter was born days short three years ago, I was left to attend to her while I still work. Here are some self taught things I learned on how I became a successful-in-my-own-way career-woman and a mother at the same time;
Whether it is imperative or a choice to work, don’t feel guilty. First and foremost, this is the mindset I wish to express to single parents doing a living. In my experience, I have a choice not to work for a living because my husband supports our family but, either way, don’t feel guilty for not having to attend to your child 24/7. It is not setting aside a responsibility and being selfish. It is creating a life of balance. When your child grows up, she will understand self-reliance through you.
Always know the background of the nanny you hire. You can never do things at the same time, unless you decide to quit your job. You have to bring in someone that you and your family knew for already a long time. The nanny can be a distant relative or a family friend. I also suggest you find a nanny older than you. An older nanny is motherly and can love your baby like her own. I was just so lucky to have someone I really trusted.
Never bring your work at home. The only time your mind is set on working should be the moment when you leave home for work and the moment you step out of your office, nothing else. The whole time when you are home, be a “mother”. Spend the whole quality time cuddling and talking to your baby. Tell her you missed her so much the whole day, make her feel safe. Familiar voices keep your baby feel secured and loved. Your baby missed your distinct smell for 8 to 9 hours when you are away, she will surely know that you are already around.
Be self-indulgent once in a while. So much for trashing the guilt feelings, it won’t hurt to reward yourself to sometimes do things you love. Like me when I have the time, I get together with some friends and play badminton or have dinner . I sometimes bring my baby to the venue and have her socialize as well.
These are just some of the things I find effective. My daughter never had a moment when she doubted my love and affection. She even says goodbye every time I left home for work. At her age, she understands why her parents have to work. That to me is sweet success as a single parent.